Hong Kong Phooey

Apparently Jackie Chan thinks that American films depict Asians in a bad light. He warns his Asian homies to unite against American films because if not you will lose your culture. Well Mr. Chan must have lost his culture more times than an Alzheimer's patient loses their keys. Can you believe this idiot? I looked at his scope of work and he has been in countless shitty American movies. I know , what about Shanghai Noon, Owen Wilson made that movie. But back to Chan...he had no problem collecting a paycheck for making these films. If he didn't like the way he was being portrayed he shouldn't have taken the roles, plain and simple.

He is choosing to blame the American film industry when he should be blaming his agent that talked him into some of these roles. Let's look at a few:

The Tuxedo :

Plot Outline- A hapless chauffer is must take a comatose secret agent's place using his special gadget-laden tuxedo.

Now, who the hell convinced Jackie that this was going to be a good movie? "Hapless" should have been a red flag to let him know he was going to be playing the role of an idiot.

Another one:

Around the World in 80 Days:

A bet pits a British investor, a Chinese thief, and a French artist on a worldwide adventure that they can circle the globe in 80 days.

What's the key word here? Yep. you guessed it THIEF! I know Jackie still can not speak English but obviously he can not read it either.

And finally this one is on the way...you have something to look forward to!

Kung Fu Panda:

Po the Panda is the laziest animal in the valley, but he unwittingly becomes the chosen one when enemies threaten their way of life.

Jackie plays Master Monkey. Do I need to say anthing else? Stop blaming America because you end up looking like an idiot on the screen. It's your fault. Squiggy will always be Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley and you will always be the idiot with neato kung fu moves.

Jackie said " Cinema reflects culture and there is no harm in adapting technology, but not at the cost of your originality."

Using Chan's philosphy I figure he sold his originality for about 20 million dollars. Oh yeah by the way he is making Rush Hour 3 with Chris Tucker right now. I didn't stutter. He is bitching about American movies while making a sequel to a very popular action movie. I say let's boycott his movies since he thinks the American film industry should be boycotted in his home country. Let's boycott him in ours. He isn't fooling anyone he just doesn't want his "people" to see the shitty roles he will take for a buck.

If anyone has the right to bitch about how they are portrayed in movies it's black people in horror films. They die faster than an African village infected with Ebola. Where's Jesse Jackson when you need him?

Until Next Time

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting, those cats where fast as lightning

*plot outlines for shitty movies taken from the IMDB.